Age of insanity

The Age of Insanity in full swing...

The Age of Insanity was a notable Age in the Covenant's history, recognised by all the Covvies as the freakiest and most insane age of their reign. Like most other Ages of the Covenant (Reclamation, Discovery, Abandonment, Reconciliation, Conversion, Conflict etc), the Age of Insanity was preceeded by an Age of Doubt. Due to all the Doubt, the Covenant leadership thought it was time to liven things up a bit.

Notable Events during the Age of Insanity (to name a few, in no particular order):

  • Prat-phet of wag-ret

    The Prophet of Calm, who replaced the Prophet of Objection

    The Prophet of Objection is elected High Prophet and subsequently assassinated, replaced by the Prophet of Calm.
  • The CCS Falling to Pieces falls apart during its maiden voyage, killing thousands aboard.
  • A new Covenant race is discovered, the Hollarers, who invade High Charity with their annoying singing.
  • Mass Extinction event: Hollarers are wiped out during riot by Brutes.
  • A crazy Elite shipmaster crashes his ship into a moon because it 'looked at him'.
  • Two Stupid Brutes accidently activate a Forerunner artifact in the CCS Doomed, causing it to turn into a bowl of cereal.
  • A Jackal Artist unveils a new painting: 'Thing that is alive and jumps out at you' which jumps out at him during the unveiling and eats him.
  • Construction of High Charity is finally finished, and everyone wants to be the first to touch the very bottom of the station. Five million Covenant die in the resulting fray, due to a fault in the gravity generators.
  • Three Engineers work together to build a new kind of Covenant Vehicle: A Brute with a saddle.
  • An Arbiter Civil War, caused by two arbiters being appointed at the same time. They settled their differences with a friendly game of rock, paper, scissors. It was going well until both chose scissors and proceeded to try and chop one another up with their fingers.
  • A random Brute decided he was a puppet master. He travelled around High Charity and kipnapped Grunts, turning them into 'puppets' and attempting to hold shows around the city. They didn't prove very popular.
  • ...

    The 'Bear'

    A Bear somehow finds its way onto High Charity. The idiotic Brutes start worshipping it, viewing it as their new God. It is elected Chieftain and given the Fist of Rukt, which it subsequently eats and explodes.
  • An Elite Quartermaster decides to paint faces on all the Covenant Banshees. It goes well until a Brute comes round the corner and gets scared, dropping its armful of plasma batteries and destroying the whole hangar bay. No matter, the Elite had only painted one Banshee.
  • A few Grunts decide to get together and create a big balloon, using Methane to lift it. Unfortunatley, the Balloon pops in the Mess Hall, causing riots around the canteen. The Hall erupts into a massive food fight that lasts for 22 hours. It is ended when the canteen is flooded by Elite urine. No-one knows how it got there.
  • Fourteen Prophets are found dead at the bottom of an Elevator Shaft. Their jetpacks did not malfunction and the gravity was normal. It was going to be put down as mass-suicide, but all that changed when a Grunt noticed that one of the Prophets was holding a biscuit, which had weighed them all down, and to their deaths.
  • An attempt to organise a Prophet Choir ends in shambles as the initial rehearsal causes an ancient, ornamental window to smash, depressurising the room and pulling the choir out into space. A rescue mission in undertaken by Brutes, who proceed to smash the wrong window and end up killing themselves, as well as the whole room.
  • An Entire Covenant Fleet disappears near the planet Jerboa. When a scout team is sent to investigate, it is revealed that the whole fleet was eaten by a Giant Space Worm, which then proceeds to do the worm and puke them all back up.
  • DronePlasmaRifle

    The 'Drone Plasma Rifle'

    A Green Variant of the Plasma Rifle is introduced, known as the 'Drone Plasma Rifle'. It shoots green shots and has half the fire rate of a normal Plasma Rifle. However, it is soon found out that it runs on ground-up Drones.
  • Two Hunters called Weresa Waysa Outsa and Idsa Dontsa Knowsa design a new kind of Hunter armour with back protection. However, the plans are rejected by the newly formed 'Failure Squad'.
  • An Artifact Retrieval team on Balaho claim to have found a Forerunner artifact that can predict the future. They claim to see a huge missile that is heading straight for them. It turns out they were looking out of a window, and the rocket killed all of them. it was fired by none other than the Prophet of Calm himself, who finds it all very funny.
  • A complete freak known as Proggle the Greater is elected a Lesser Prophet, only for the Covenant to realise he is actually a Prophet-Geonosian Hybrid who identifies as a Drone. He is promptly kicked out.

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