Sontarans 2008

Ha! Haha! They're like potatoes on legs!

"The Honor of Battle... the GLORY!"

-Big Leader Failure Guy-

Sontarans are a nasty race of slimeballs from the planet Sontar. They say they're good warriors, but this is only because they use a special emmision field which renders enemy guns useless.

They waged war against humanity and massacred the soldiers of UNIT (United Nations Intelligence Taskforce). However, UNIT immediately responded by shooting the Sontarans with a different type of bullet which their almighty emmision field could not stop. Without the field they were truly pathetic and were then massacred themselves by UNIT. The Big Leader Guy was two shotted by a pistol. All in all, the Sontarans are failures. Their idea of great tactics is to walk forward towards their enemies and spray them with bullets. This is because their weak-spot is in the back of their neck so they have to always face their enemies.


A Sontaran Magic Show

They have since waged 14 other wars against League races, and lost every single one. In fact, they have only won one battle in all of the wars. And that was against Quarians, thanks to the tactical genius of Snax the Destroyer, who decided to make the Sontarans approach in straight lines and spray. Oh wait...

They use cloning to reproduce and because of this they all look the same. They try to wage war on people they can't defeat, like the Daleks, the Humans, and pretty much everyone else. Their only minor success was in showbusiness and even that didn't end well at all.

Known Sontarans

  • Commander Stik
  • General Stuk
  • Snax the Destroyer
  • Field Marshal Flat
  • Commander Linx, who was killed when a milkman shot an arrow into his probic vent
  • Commander Skorr, who was two-shotted by a Human General
  • General Staal, who was blown up by one grenade which destroyed his entire fleet
  • Commander Styre, who was killed when his face melted after he accidently took his helmet off on a hot day
  • Commander Xied, who tried to blow up the Sun but was destroyed by harmless Solar Rays
  • Captain Disproportionate, a failed Maths Mafia member.

Youtube Clip

Sontarans VS UNIT02:26

Sontarans VS UNIT

Death of Sontarans02:22

Death of Sontarans

Proof of how pathetic Sontarans are...

The Sarah Jane Adventures - Best of the Sontarans (speed-up version)07:12

The Sarah Jane Adventures - Best of the Sontarans (speed-up version)

A truly pathetic Sontaran...

Donna fights with a Sontaran - Doctor Who - BBC01:57

Donna fights with a Sontaran - Doctor Who - BBC

Proof that Sontarans can be defeated with any weapon at all

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