FANDOM


Glassteroid

An artist's impression of the Glassteroid. None shall escape its transparent fury.

The Glassteroid, originally known as Object-DEATH, is an extra-terrestrial body commonly accepted as the most likely cause of the total annihilation of not only humanity, but the planet Earth itself.

DescriptionEdit

The Glassteroid is, quite simply, a huge asteroid made of glass. Being a glass object, it is perfectly transparent and, as such, cannot be seen from Earth, or any other point in space. This is a huge problem for the denizens of the universe; because it is see-through, scientists cannot be sure of its size, speed, or its location, although estimates put the body between the size of the Moon and NML Cygni. Should the Glassteroid approach Earth, which it could indeed be doing as you read this very article, it may be too late before we even realise that our imminent death looms ominously overhead. The object would collide with the Earth at speeds in excess of 300,000,000 mph, or about half of the speed of light. Most of humanity would be vapourized instantly, with the 1% that survived the initial shockwave and planetary explosion dying within the next few seconds.

Whilst most scientists agree that it is simply a freak of physics that may have been unleashed by partisan alien robots, there are significant sects who worship His Seethroughness as the harbinger of Arceus's judgment, and others who see it as the physical embodiment of Anarkhos himself. Debate rages on as to whether the Glassteroid is in fact a sentient being of purest malice and destruction. The spiritual concept of a giant lump of glass hurtling through space is as ancient as Rome. Stories of Lucidus Exitium, or Clear Doom, haunt the post-Roman cultural identity to this day throughout the Mediterranean.

Combating Our Imminent DemiseEdit

There is one man on Earth who has the resources and funding necessary to attempt to combat the avatar of inescapable death: Barack Hussein Obama. Whilst no explosive on Earth, or even all of the explosives sticky-taped together, could even scratch the Glassteroid. However, there are alternate methods of dealing with balls of space death. Experts on combating threats from space believe that, should a big enough net be fired from a giant cannon on the Moon, the Glassteroid could be grabbed and knocked off course. As the heir to the heir to the heir to the heir to the heir to the heir to the heir of the man who ruled the country of the man who placed the first flag on the Moon, Barack Obama enjoys full control of the Moon's surface. Plans for Operation Moon Boom have been under construction for years, however they have been constantly held up by Republicans in Congress, who wish to instead create a giant laser to fire at suspected terrorists. They will be the death of us all.

Ad blocker interference detected!


Wikia is a free-to-use site that makes money from advertising. We have a modified experience for viewers using ad blockers

Wikia is not accessible if you’ve made further modifications. Remove the custom ad blocker rule(s) and the page will load as expected.